Post by AppleJacks on Nov 28, 2011 21:58:34 GMT -5
Jack Apple, the former Florida option-oriented quarterback being converted to safety by the St. Peter Griffins, agreed on Wednesday to a one-year deal worth $2,000,000 with the cross conference rival Seattle Stormtroopers.
Sources say Apple agreed to the deal late Monday night and will play outside linebacker for an already crowded Stormtroopers defense. Though the news comes as a shock to some, many should have seen this coming.
"It's the oldest trick in the book," says UFSL beat writer James Bucci. "You sit around in free agency and watch as other players raise the market. That's exactly what happened." The signing comes on the same day as heavily coveted linebacker Mr. Edd spurned the Stormtroopers and inked a 1 year deal with Reno.
"You wait long enough... and patience pays off."
Though the decision doubles the revenue Apple will take in during the 2011 season it might be at the cost of playing time. The stormtroopers linebacker unit is one of the deepest in the league with world grader Lord Vader fronting the middle and two solid contributors in Prince Sackington and Ken Sady off the edge.
"I know I have to earn my keep and improve to see the field," said Apple. "I just thank the good lord for such an opportunity. I'm ready to prove myself. Thank you Jesus, son of the holy god."
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BREAKING NEWS:
In what might be the cruelest of all pranks to pull it seems Stormtroopers GM Swoosh has "Punked" religious linebacker Jake Apple and in fact will not be signing the former Gator.
Apple could not be reached by phone but sources close to the noob say he's with his parents praying for those who wronged him.
